


Six Times Red Manuel Got Owned, and One Time He Still Got Owned

by deletedsystem32



Category: Nomad of Nowhere (Web Series)
Genre: And the Nomad deserves better, Basically this fic is just Red Manuel getting owned right before he shoots the Nomad, Because Red Deserves it, Crack, Crack fic I guess, Not Canon Compliant, Seriously RoosterTeeth what the Fuck was that, of course
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2018-09-26
Packaged: 2019-07-17 13:30:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16096628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deletedsystem32/pseuds/deletedsystem32
Summary: Seven oneshots of terrible shit happening to Red right before he was about to shoot the Nomad.





	1. One - The Mills Have Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> All of these are going to be pretty short and written in like, 5 to 10 minutes with minimal editing because I just want terrible shit to happen to Red ASAP.
> 
> And also this is pretty much crack fic, so don't expect too much.

Red Manuel cackled as Skout finished her speech about the Nomad.

“Oh, Skout! This is such a weight off Red Manuel’s shoulders! Here Red Manuel was, thinking he would have to make up some story about how you betrayed the Don, and here you are doing just that!”

Skout was horrified. But then again, did she really expect something like simple _words_ to change his mind?

“Now, say goodbye, _spittoon gir—_ Wait. What is that rumbling?” Red said, lowering his gun.

Skout and the Nomad glanced at each other and shrugged.

“Earthquake?” Skout suggested. The three of them turned to look at the entrance that had led them deeper into the mines as the rumbling grew stronger. . .and a silhouette appeared. “Is that—”

The rumbling grew almost deafening as the mill’s rolling echoed around the cavern. It rolled closer and closer, not giving any indication of stopping. Red Manuel stepped to the left and out of the way, intending to save himself and let the mill run over Skout and the Nomad, who were still on the edge of the rail over the mineshaft.

He turned to wave goodbye to them, so sure that the mill was going to continue in a straight line that he didn’t bother to watch it—so you can imagine his surprise when it veered sharply to the left and ran right over him.

Skout and the Nomad watched as the mill did a u-turn and rolled right back out of the mine, not even sparing them a glance. Meanwhile, Red lay on the ground, twitching in pain.

“If Red Manuel... were in charge... there would be... no mills!”


	2. Two - Batshit Insane

Red Manuel had his gun aimed at Skout, ready to shoot. “Now, say goodbye, _spittoon gir—_ ”

But just as he was about to pull the trigger, there was flurry of squeaking and flapping wings from above.

“What the—”

Skout and the Nomad ducked as what could only be described as a _swarm_ of bats came pouring down from the roof of the cave, and straight towards Red.

“AAAH! Get them off, get them OFF! Stupid animals!”

But little did Red know: these animals were anything _but_ stupid. These were actually very _smart_ bats who had acquired an intense hatred for self-entitled pricks who talk in third person and deserve to have their ~~Man~~ _Human_ Card revoked.

Finally, the bats let up and flew off into the cave, leaving Red covered in bat guano and small scratches.

“Wow,” Skout said. “Those bats really helped out with your wardrobe. Now it matches your personality _perfectly._ ” The Nomad’s shoulders shook with silent laughter at Skout’s comment.

However, Red wasn’t listening, as he was too busy trying not to touch his own clothes, which wasn’t working out very well for him.

“Aw, shiiit!”

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this, please check out this video of 45 seconds of Red Manuel getting owned, made by return-to-stars on Tumblr:  
> https://return-to-stars.tumblr.com/post/177855530107/45-seconds-of-red-manuel-getting-owned-and-hurt


End file.
